Thoughts on Going from Long Distance to Marriage…

Yes, we were Long Distance. And yes, our marriage is wonderful! I think people don’t realize that long distance couples actually do know each other really, really, well. Yes, there are quirks and little things to figure out like who cleans the toilet lol. But going from (long term) long distance dating, to marriage has not been difficult because we already talked about expectations we had for one another within marriage.

Marriage is great! I get to literally be with my best friend all of the time, and I tell him every day how thankful I am for his life. We get to plan life together as we are directed by God. My husband  is my biggest encourager. He pushes me to be better and for that, I am thankful.

Some people say we are still “honeymooning” but our “honeymoon phase” was our first 2 years courting long distance. After the first 2 years it was like the floodgates broke open (negatively). He noticed my tendency for perfection and I noticed his negative qualities as well, and yes…it was hard. But after we learned how to communicate despite being frustrated with each other, we were fine. Marriage is definitely not easy. Every single day I have to commit to devoting myself first to God, and then to my husband. Marriage will show you yourself…the good, the bad, and the ugly!

But, the beautiful reality is that through the bad and the ugly, my husband still chooses to LOVE me! This demonstrates the love of Jesus to me, and I am so glad for this opportunity to grow in my faith and deeper in my relationship with Jesus. You see at the end of the day, marriage isn’t about me, or him, or us. Marriage is about reflecting the love of Christ to a hurting world.

Our love is not just for our benefit. I think this is where the world has everything mixed up. Love is not here just to bring us pleasure. Love is not here just to satisfy our sexual desires. Love is not here for us to look better to our friends. Love is not here for me, me, me. Love is not meant to be that selfish. Love is meant to be a self-less act in which you consider another person to be more important than yourself (Philippians 2:3). It’s meant to reflect a more perfect love. It’s meant to be a sign pointing always to the love of an eternally loving Creator. It’s meant to demonstrate the utmost importance of being in a right relationship with our eternally loving Creator.

Within our marriage things have been even better than I expected. Many people talk about the difficulty of marriage, but not enough people talk about how awesome it is! I just really want to encourage you that if you have been in a long distance relationship  and you are afraid to take the next steps towards marriage because of  the fear of “it not working when you’re together” please… throw that fear out of the window.

Perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18)

I love you, and God loves you so much More!

– Jeanette

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