This morning I woke up to an article on my news feed entitled, “Why Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment”(Article link is below). The author of this article argues that American society values a woman’s marriage more highly than degrees, careers, promotions, and other accomplishments that women work hard to earn. While I do see her point, I can only speak from my own experience. I do not wish to over generalize my experiences, but I am going to explain WHY MY (long distance) ENGAGEMENT IS A GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT.
It was not easy, as the author of this article writes, to find a man who I was head over heels in love with AND who had the characteristics I was looking for in a potential spouse. In fact, I HAD TO LITERALLY GO HALF WAY ACROSS THE WORLD (to Ghana, West Africa) before I met a man who HAD THE CHARACTER TRAITS I DESIRED IN A SPOUSE, and who I was compatible with!
After meeting Evans I was faced with the decision to either walk away from a relationship with him because LONG-DISTANCE seemed too difficult, or to enter into a relationship with a man who I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. I chose the latter option and entered a CROSS-CONTINENTAL RELATIONSHIP with a man who has PURSUED ME for 2 years and 8 months ACROSS AN OCEAN.
Although we are compatible, keeping our relationship alive across an ocean has not been easy. We have put in serious work to schedule time to talk daily despite poor internet connections, despite dropped phone calls (sometimes up to 12 times in one conversation) and despite a 7 hours and sometimes 8 hour time difference. We have spent time and energy learning how to communicate effectively, and learning how the other person best receives love. I have studied this man because I want to become an expert at loving him and he has done the same for me. We have spent hours attending a 12 week pre-marriage class and did it through Skype! We have debated and learned to accept one another’s opinions. SO IN ALL HONESTY I DO FEEL LIKE I HAVE EARNED and ACCOMPLISHED something.
Long-distance dating is not a fairy-tale, or a romantic comedy movie, it is HARD and TEDIOUS WORK. This is cry your eyes out at night, people asking where he is at, frustrating work. Yet, it is so worth it.